


Quite like this

by peachsoul



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, I enjoy analyzing Isak's personality too much, Isak is so in love with Even it's insane, M/M, There's always a happy ending, fluff kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 11:45:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8799607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsoul/pseuds/peachsoul
Summary: Even settled himself into Isak's life so silently and sure.





	

>  

Isak grew up knowing pain, it was a never a pain that he couldn't handle…it was always a pain he could always hide from and shove into the deepest depths of his brain in hopes that they would never resurface.

  
It was the pain of knowing that his father loved his mother, but not enough to stay because there was something _mentally_ wrong with her. The knowing that he was slowly falling in love with his best friend, who wasn't falling in love with him.

  
Knowing that he was falling apart, but he was so scared of letting anyone down, so he stayed silent and pulled his snapback lower on his head and kept moving forward, even though his bones ached with exhaustion and his heart felt hallowed.

  
There were the silent, cloudy grey days where Isak wished he didn't know anything. When he could close his eyes and not think about his father and his mother and Jonas and Eva and how, somehow, he had let all of them down in different ways.

  
Heartache and guilt and repent seemed to be the only thing that followed Isak around like a dark cloud.

  
His mother kept sending him bible verses daily, and his father kept ignoring his calls. He wish he didn't know anything.

  
Isak kept his head down and kept telling himself that he could make it another day, that he would be okay even if Jonas was perpetually in love with Eva and not him, and honestly, why would he. Isak kept telling himself that things would be fine even when he heard his mom aggressively cleaning the kitchen at 3 in the morning.

  
He had his head down so low, that he didn't even notice he was walking straight into Even’s path.

  
The thing is that Even snuck his way into Isak’s life, made it impossible for Isak to see anything else but blue eyes that make him feel like he’s suffocating under the weight of what they hold, and what they're trying to convey to him.

  
Even changed everything before Isak could even catch his breath and realize what was happening. Even came in and changed everything that Isak was afraid of knowing about himself, afraid of figuring out on his own.

  
With raised eyebrows and a joint between his rosy pink lips, Even barged his way into Isak’s life and flipped everything he had ever known.

  
Isak realized he was falling so fast and so hard, and all he could feel beneath the thrumming of his heart when Even was lying silently next to him, was fear.

  
The fear of the unknown because Even was beautiful and he was everything Isak believed heaven could feel like.

  
Even was kind and soft and open and Even kissed him like all the answers to the universe were on Isak’s lips, and Isak didn't want to _hurt_ hI'm, just like he had seemingly hurt everyone else in his life.

  
Even kissed him softly and sweet and like there was no where else but Isak’s dimly lit room at 4 AM, and Isak was so scared of losing his heart all over again.

  
Isak let Even settle and find a home in his chest, knowing that all he ever did was leave destruction in his wake.

  
Yet, Even loved him back. He loved Isak so unapologetically and so sweet and gentle. The world was theirs to manipulate and to own and all Isak could see was rosy cheeks and chapped lips and _he was so in love_ , and it was scaring him less and less with every kiss Even planted along his jaw, and with everytime Even had asked to spend another night in his bed because he had gotten used to it.

  
Things were good...until they weren't, and just like Isak had learned time and time again, nothing last.

  
Things went really well, until they went so south, so fast that all Isak could do was let the salty tears run into his mouth and let them splatter on the hoodie he hadn't taken off since he last saw Even.

  
He was in a state of the worst kind of crippling fear and sadness that there was no screaming, no tearing his room apart in anger because everything he touches turns into a pile of ash and heartache.

  
It was a state of feeling like his heart wasn't there...he knows Even took it with him when he ran out of the hotel room naked because he was having an _episode_...and oh god Even was manic and Isak was too dense and too into his own heart, that he didn't even recognize the signs he had grown to understand to a science because of his mother.

  
He was so gone on the idea that Even was perfect and wonderful that he didn't let himself even think for a second that someone that made him feel a level a bliss that he had never known, was everything he had cursed at since his father had walked out the door without looking back.

  
The thing Isak realized laying awake at night, alone in his cold bed, was that Even was still all those things.

  
He was still kind and gentle and touched Isak like he would break if he held onto tight. He was still the Even that tended to be so pretentious about music, and was the Even who called him ‘sweetheart’, he was still the Even that Isak had promised he would be willing to give everything up for.

  
Isak could still feel the ringing in his ears and he could still feel the thrumming in his bones and the bile was still rising in his throat.

  
He was so scared, because in every universe Even was always going to be Isak's, even in this universe where the curtains might never be yellow and Even is manic, Isak will still give it all up for Even, even if it takes some growing up first.

  
Isak hadn't lied when he had whispered so softly and so sure, that Even was the man of his dreams.

  
Even saved Isak. Saved him from everything that he had been afraid of being or thinking that he could be. Even managed to save Isak from himself, managed to get rid of the idea that Isak’s life purpose was to disappoint and hurt other people.

  
Even saved him with a kiss that had a promise and a _forever_ behind it.

  
And Isak knew it was time to save Even back.

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know why I love rambling so much in these things I promise! 
> 
> Anyways, I hope someone enjoyed it! 
> 
> Thanks for the amazing response to my last little writing, it made me so so so so so happy. Y'all are angels.
> 
> Again, you can follow me on tumblr if you would like @ sventeens


End file.
